So I'm waiting, and waiting and I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! I begin to call my mother incessantly until she picks up.
"Hello," my mom answers.
"Well?!" I ask.
"Hold on," she says. WHAT? Dear God just tell me already!
"Okay, I had to get away from Lucy so she doesn't hear," she says.
"You'll never guess what we found in your father's car? There were three cell phones, some really disgusting looking porn DVDs, and a little girls purse. Its not Lucy's purse either. Its a little little girl's purse."
"Oh God," I whisper.
"Yeah Lucy didn't even say anything when she found it. She just teared up. I don't even know what to tell her," Mom says in a voice that would sound soft to any other person, but knowing my mom its the I'm-trying-to-hold-back-my-own-tears voice.
"I opened the DVDs and put them on the ground face down and jumped on them. That felt good. I totally beat them up," Mom tells me.
Okay seriously, I just have to give my mom a little praise here. If I were in her exact spot, I would have been a total baby about it. I would have fallen to the ground in some grand gesture and cried my little eyes out. But what does she do? She takes the DVDs and beats the shit out of them. I'm not quite sure why, but the mental image of my mom beating up the nasty porn DVDs makes me full of so much pride. My mom is cool.
"MOOOOM! The phones are ringing," I hear my sister yelling in the background.
"Hold on Sam. Your sister says the phones are ringing."
I hear her walk-running closer to my sister's voice and the ringing phones.
I hear her walk-running closer to my sister's voice and the ringing phones.
"Hello? Who's this? This is Tim's WIFE. Who is THIS?" my mom demands through her gritted teeth. I didn't see the teeth, but I've been on the receiving end of that voice and know what it looks like. Its the angry Mom face. The one where you've really really messed up.
"Sam you there? She didn't say anything. She just hung up when I said I was Tim's wife. Stupid bitch," mom says.
"What did she sound like?" I ask.
"I don't know. Okay I gotta go. I'm going to look through these phones," Mom says.
And that is just like my mom, she always gets off the phone right when I'm totally and completely invested-at the exact point that makes me want to scream. If I lived near her, I'd jump in the car and get there as soon as traffic would allow. But I don't.
So I try and do my normal things. Feed Noah. Fold laundry. Put the endless mound of toys away just to turn around and find two more toy piles being made. Okay that's it. I'm calling back. This is nuts. I dial.
"Hi Sammy," my sister answers.
"Hi. What's going on?" I ask.
"Oh we're driving to some hotel. One of the people calling Dad's phone told Mom she was here in a hotel." She explains casually.
"WHAT? Put Mom on the phone!" I demand. Who cares if she's driving. Inquiring minds have to know.
"Hey. Yeah, so three different women have been calling your dad's phones, all asking for him. Two of them were smart enough to not say anything, but this one is stupid and she's telling me everything. She told me she drove here from Illinois with your father. She said he was helping her get away from there since she's a crack addict and Dad was going to help her kick the drugs. Sam, he put her up in a freaking hotel by the house! She's really scared saying that he hasn't called her all night and all day. She asked me to come pick her up and help her because she has no money and no way to get anywhere," mom says in a voice that is all mixed up with tones of, anger, hysteria, and pain.
"WHAT THE FUCK!!!" I exclaim. I know I did it again, but if there's ever a time to that, this is it.
"Wait. Wait. Wait. You are not seriously going to go get her right? I mean she's a grown ass woman. She can take care of herself. Don't you dare give her any money. Don't you dare Mom. Turn the car around now," I yell. It was kind of between a yell and demand. I've been practicing my own Mom voice lately.
"Oh my God Sam. I can't believe this is happening. I've been living with a stranger. I don't even know who this man is. You're right. I'm gonna leave her ass there. Lucy lets go get ice cream. Okay Sam I have to focus on driving now. I'll call you when I get home."
"Okay Mom. I love you more." I say and hang up the phone.
WHOA. Yeah. That's what I was thinking too.
Sometimes when you are going through something so shocking, it takes your brain a while to catch up. You end up just waiting. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting for it to go away. Waiting for something else, because this can't be real. Can it?
This is exactly what my mom and I did for the rest of the day and next morning. We waited for a decision to come from above and smack us in the face. The problem is, decisions don't ever do that. You have to make them all on your own.
Mom, Lucy, my brother David, Noah, and I just went about our lives for the rest of the day and the next morning. We just kept moving through life. Kept going. Because if you keep going, it will all go away right? Until the phone rings and you find out that someone bailed your dad out of jail. Now its really decision time. God save us all.
"Sam you there? She didn't say anything. She just hung up when I said I was Tim's wife. Stupid bitch," mom says.
"What did she sound like?" I ask.
"I don't know. Okay I gotta go. I'm going to look through these phones," Mom says.
And that is just like my mom, she always gets off the phone right when I'm totally and completely invested-at the exact point that makes me want to scream. If I lived near her, I'd jump in the car and get there as soon as traffic would allow. But I don't.
So I try and do my normal things. Feed Noah. Fold laundry. Put the endless mound of toys away just to turn around and find two more toy piles being made. Okay that's it. I'm calling back. This is nuts. I dial.
"Hi Sammy," my sister answers.
"Hi. What's going on?" I ask.
"Oh we're driving to some hotel. One of the people calling Dad's phone told Mom she was here in a hotel." She explains casually.
"WHAT? Put Mom on the phone!" I demand. Who cares if she's driving. Inquiring minds have to know.
"Hey. Yeah, so three different women have been calling your dad's phones, all asking for him. Two of them were smart enough to not say anything, but this one is stupid and she's telling me everything. She told me she drove here from Illinois with your father. She said he was helping her get away from there since she's a crack addict and Dad was going to help her kick the drugs. Sam, he put her up in a freaking hotel by the house! She's really scared saying that he hasn't called her all night and all day. She asked me to come pick her up and help her because she has no money and no way to get anywhere," mom says in a voice that is all mixed up with tones of, anger, hysteria, and pain.
"WHAT THE FUCK!!!" I exclaim. I know I did it again, but if there's ever a time to that, this is it.
"Wait. Wait. Wait. You are not seriously going to go get her right? I mean she's a grown ass woman. She can take care of herself. Don't you dare give her any money. Don't you dare Mom. Turn the car around now," I yell. It was kind of between a yell and demand. I've been practicing my own Mom voice lately.
"Oh my God Sam. I can't believe this is happening. I've been living with a stranger. I don't even know who this man is. You're right. I'm gonna leave her ass there. Lucy lets go get ice cream. Okay Sam I have to focus on driving now. I'll call you when I get home."
"Okay Mom. I love you more." I say and hang up the phone.
WHOA. Yeah. That's what I was thinking too.
Sometimes when you are going through something so shocking, it takes your brain a while to catch up. You end up just waiting. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting for it to go away. Waiting for something else, because this can't be real. Can it?
This is exactly what my mom and I did for the rest of the day and next morning. We waited for a decision to come from above and smack us in the face. The problem is, decisions don't ever do that. You have to make them all on your own.
Mom, Lucy, my brother David, Noah, and I just went about our lives for the rest of the day and the next morning. We just kept moving through life. Kept going. Because if you keep going, it will all go away right? Until the phone rings and you find out that someone bailed your dad out of jail. Now its really decision time. God save us all.
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