Chapter 5: Here Today, Gone Today.

The phone rings. Oh God. What now? Isn't that how it always starts?

"Hi Mom. What's going on?"

"Your father just left," she says coldly and without any discernible emotion.

"What? Didn't he just get out of jail? Where is he going? Did you kick him out or something?" I question.

"Yeah he just got out a few hours ago. And he said he had to go finish his job or he'd get fired. So he went and got that woman and left to Illinois or Pennsylvania. I don't remember," she replies blankly.

Wait... did she just say my dad left with that crack whore? She didn't just say that right?!?!?!

"Okay start from the beginning. What happened exactly from the moment he got home," I say.

"Okay well, I was fixing lunch for the kids and he came home. I was trying to act like everything was normal, so it wouldn't scare your brother. And your sister was acting normal too- you know her, she's just picks up on what to do. She's only 13, but she acts 32 ya know? I was making lunch and I asked your father to clean out the garage, since its a huge mess and his crap is everywhere. Then he started going into the Y2K closet and messing around..." she says.

Okay quick stop in the story for a bit of info. My dad is from the country. He owns rifles, goes deer hunting, fishing and the whole country John Wayne thing. He is also one of those survivalist guys that keeps food, water and ammo around for the apocalypse. When the whole Y2K craze hit, my dad stockpiled a ton of food- spam, dehydrated milk, beans- all that nasty stuff that people would never eat given a choice. Its now 2010, but my dad still insisted upon keeping piles and piles of this Y2K food around. I don't know maybe he was saving it for 2012.

Mom continues, "He started pulling stuff out of the Y2K closet and putting it into the pantry. I wasn't paying that much attention because I was trying to cook. He just kept messing around it the pantry and finally I asked why he wasn't cleaning the garage and why he was messing around in the pantry. Sam, he just looked at me, then he looked at the kids and kept stocking the pantry with that nasty Y2K food. I think he knew he was leaving for good."

Oh man. This isn't going to end well is it? The days of fairy tales are officially over.

"Okay then what?" I ask.

"Well, then we decided to go for a drive and talk about why he was in jail and who the women were. I just didn't want to talk in front of the kids ya know. If they want to, they hear everything. Of course whenever I ask them to clean their rooms, they seem to not hear a word," she explains.

"Okay so you went for a drive and what did he tell you?"

"We parked in the high school parking lot and talked. God Sam, here we are skimping on everything. We don't have money for anything extra. I've given up getting my hair done, and my car needs new brakes and you know what he told me? He told me that he just wanted to be someone's hero. That he wanted to be able to pull out hundred dollar bills and pay for everything like the big man on campus. Here we are saving every last dime, and he's out there across the country blowing money left and right on his "friends" as he calls them," she says.

"So what was his explanation about the women and the text messages. What did he say about that? " I question.

"Oh he says that they're just friends and that he has never touched them. There's three women that were calling. Deb was the bitchy one that wouldn't talk to me. Cheryl was the one that kept hanging up and Elizabeth is the one that Dad left with. The one in the hotel," she says still distant and nonchalant.  I don't know if she was experiencing shock, but she sounded like she was looking off into space speaking but not really listening to herself. As if her mind and mouth were in two separate worlds.

"Wait? Dad left with the crack whore? Are you kidding me? Do you really think he's just friends with her Mom?"

And then the mom I know returns and stops sounding like that distant shock-y person, "Oh hell no. I think he's screwing all those bitches. And I'm not sure because I don't know about that world, but I've heard that those crack whores will do anything for a hit or whatever its called."

Okay good she's getting angry. That's what I need. Anger moves faster and works better than shock or sadness. Anger gets stuff done. Sadness just sits and mopes. Shock just pauses and gawks. Anger is good.

"So he just left? Where on earth could he possibly be going with that nasty ass woman?"

"He said he had to finish a job on the East coast or he'd be fired. You know what he did before he left?" She asks.

"Oh God. I don't even know. What?"

"He sat there and cried to the kids. He sat them down and told them that there was a warrant for his arrest and that's why he got arrested. But you know your sister. She grilled him up this side and down. She asked him who those women were and what they were doing calling him. She asked him why he lied and she told him she can't trust what he's saying because he's told too many lies. He actually looked at me and asked me, 'Can I get some help here?'. I just shook my head no and kept cleaning the kitchen. Sam, he did that stupid fake cry thing. You know the one where you look down and your body shakes a little. He put on quite a performance for the kids. I don't think Lucy bought it, maybe Daniel, but not Lucy. She's too damn smart."

"So then what, he just left? When did he say he'd be back," I question.

"Well he told the kids he'd be back before Thanksgiving, but I don't know Sam. I don't know."

"And now he's driving cross country with that stupid Elizabeth girl." I add.

"Yep."

"God. Mom, I'm sorry... I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. I don't know what's gotten into him. I'm surprised you didn't tell him to get rid of that bitch and and let her find her own way," I say.

"Sam, I just wanted him to go. I just want him gone. Your brother, sister and I have learned how to work with just the three of us. You know your dad has been gone off and on for the last 2 years, and we have learned to be without him. I just wanted him out. Gone," she explains.

"Yeah. I wish I could be there. I wish I could help, I've just got all this work right now with Christmas. I just have to finish my Christmas rush and then I'll be there okay."

"I know Sam. You've got your own family and your business to worry about, so don't worry about us. We'll be okay," she lies.

"Okay Mom. I'll call you later." I say and hang up.

But how do I do that? How on earth do I not worry? My family is hurting. They're falling apart at the seams and I'm just supposed to keep going? Keep working? Keep smiling? God grant me the strength, the serenity, and power to just get through these next two weeks so I can get to them and save the day. But the real question is, can I really save the day? I don't think I can this time.